Sex Talk: What is the combination lock to your spouse?

I am a reality TV shows junkie, I must confess. They go down way smoother than fiction.

I was watching one of those numerous reality TV shows recently – I forget which one – when someone said that women have a different combination lock each, and until a husband figures out that lock, it is impossible to unlock her sexually.

Precisely put. I guess that’s the analogy I have been looking for, for years. I have heard people trivialize the issue of sex, saying that when a man has lain with one woman, he has basically lain with them all. Who lied to you?

Women, just like men, come in different sizes, shapes, flavours, feelings, etc. They are, indeed, like lock combinations. The same key cannot unlock all. Even in a polygamous setting, you are likely to find one wife who enjoys the shared husband’s ministrations more than her sister wives.

Right combination. If you were in a past relationship where your partner came undone with a combination of hug-kiss-boom, you will be disappointed to try that same combination on your current wife and get a bored yawn for your efforts.

Some lock combinations have more digits than others… If in the past size and longevity were the combination you needed to impress a spouse, your latest relationship will make you lose weight as you exert yourself for several minutes and…nothing.

Some women are turned on by creative or smart men; show her a talented DJ, instrumentalist or singer and she is seasoned, cooked, and ready to serve. For others, their lock has only one digit: money.

You prove yourself to be generous, and you will be the hottest man in any room, regardless. For others, it is power – be in a position of power and a problem solver, and she is sold. Some women only enjoy clitoral orgasms, others have vaginal orgasms.

Now, the dilemma is husbands ending up with wives whose combinations they don’t know, and do not care to discover. So, he arrives with the wrong key, forcing it to open the lock, even if it means damaging it.

I believe that is where the problem stems from in many marriages. Don’t use past experiences to sort current situations. You will find that the ka-technique that worked magic in the past, is now met with disgust in your marriage, if attempted.

The dirty talk that an ex lived for during intimacy, totally switches off your current conservative spouse. The erogenous zones you know like cram work because ‘the boys’ told you they work for every woman, are not all that for the actual woman of your life.

Learn the lock’s combination and your marriage’s sex life will be sorted. This goes for wives too. Not all men have the same combination for their locks. Why are you using drastic weight loss measures to eventually look like an emaciated calf, when your husband fell in love with a plus-size you from the get-go?

Why are you fighting to grow your nyash, when his love for you was heavily influenced by your flat backside? Not all men are turned on by light skin complexion; so, don’t bleach yourself to a point where you need to redo the wedding photos to prove to people that it is indeed you!

Also, if you know your lock’s combination, can you be kind and liberally share it with your spouse? Many anniversaries come and go as one looks for their spouse’s lock combination, without getting a single hint from the lock owner who in most cases knows exactly what s/he wants!

caronakazibwe@gmail.com