Sex Talk: Is she even infertile?

“We have an epidemic of infertility: straight women are not smelling men closely or often enough, perhaps, to boost the levels of luteinizing hormone they require for optimal fertility.

Marital counselors tell women and men to talk through their problems; fertility doctors send men into rooms to masturbate and then they inject the semen themselves into the vaginas of women who are suffering from irregular periods or with low fertility levels.

Again, if you understand the profound nature of the animality of women, you see that these practices are incomplete. Marital counselors should start by telling men to hug women; to stroke if the women are open to that; to take women, if they are willing, ballroom dancing. Fertility specialists should make sure, before anything else, that women are getting well and regularly cuddled, and brought to orgasm, by their men.”

This passage in Naomi Wolf’s book, Vagina: A New Biography, is profound. She may be referring to statistics from the USA and Western Europe, but if you close your eyes and think about any modern, so-called civilized community, be it in Africa or Asia, these fertility concerns are real.

As the hustle intensifies and lifestyle/ dietary changes set in, women who are not really barren are being labelled as that, thanks to infertility that is creeping in because of the circumstances at home.

Your husband is away so often for work, or because of a polygamous setting. How is the magic of procreation supposed to happen? Sex is being had under increasingly stressful atmospheres for the sake of ‘clocking in’; how is that supposed to yield the fruit of the womb?

I once wrote here, that some women are technically not infertile; blame their predicament on timing. Some couples can spend months making love like rabbits outside the fertile window (which starts about five days before a woman’s ovulation day, and the day after it) and then when she is supposedly at her most fertile, he ups and goes on a work trip, off to run a marathon in Kasese and returns tired and achy, or he is having a grumpy, sulky, not- talking season.

That is a wife rendered infertile by unavailable tools. And for the one who has been wondering why women are big on cuddling, I hope today you have learnt about the luteinizing hormone, which is important in fertility. She needs to hug you, smell you…

Haven’t you seen a woman sometimes sniff her husband’s unwashed clothes rather obsessively? This happens around ovulation, still. Her body, apparently, is instinctively trying to activate her baby-making factory.

But that is the time you also choose to chase another waterfall without her, or make rotations among your other wives. In fact, when I think about it, many men are grappling with heartbreaks after unpleasant DNA tests these days, because possibly neglected, uncuddled wives got pushed to a wall [pun intended].

Even in the times of our more morally-upright grandparents, ovulating women often succumbed to the temptations of men who just happened to be in the ‘right place, at the right time, for the right purpose’. Not to condone infidelity…I’m just saying!

Don’t be that emotionally and physically detached man who is only good to your wife a few minutes before sex; there is a luteinizing hormone to activate, and this comes by availing yourself more.

caronakazibwe@gmail.com