Three is a crowd: Diane slips several rungs down the ladder

(Continued from last issue)

David and Diane have been married for years; then there is Julie, the young secretary whose axis collides with the couple’s in ways none of them saw coming.

DAVID

My father’s condition slowly deteriorated over the next few days; he seemed to tire more easily and sleep for longer intervals each day, and as his body withered away and it became obvious that he was not going to get better, all our routines became more centered around him.

My mother still spent every night by his bedside, and I extended my leave from work so that I could take over from her during the day, and she could go to the apartment for a much-needed few hours’ break.

My sister also played her part, and although the demands of her own family and job meant that she could not spend as much time at the hospital as she wished she could, she would come to the hospital straight from work, and stay until the visiting hours ended, during which time, I would be able to return to the apartment for an early dinner, before dropping my mother back at the hospital for her nightly vigil.

It was a grueling period that took both a physical and emotional toll on all of us, but it was also a period that made me develop a newfound appreciation and affection for Julie.

Knowing how preoccupied I was with my father’s condition, she handled all the other aspects of our lives like the Katosi project and Junior’s care singlehandedly, while simultaneously ensuring that everything ran smoothly at the apartment too, leaving not just breakfast, but a full meal prepared for my mother before she left in the mornings, and making sure dinner was ready for us early in the evenings too.

It was no doubt a lot for her to deal with, but she got it done, not just effectively, but with grace too, not once complaining or whining about how hard things were, or how much had been added to her plate.

I did not say so out loud, but I appreciated her calming and grounding presence more than ever during what was otherwise a very difficult period.

JULIE

I did not have any more long, private visits with David’s father over the next few days, although I did visit with him for a few minutes each day, either in the mornings when David dropped off at the hospital, before I continued on to the daycare and the Katosi site with the driver, or in the afternoons on my way back to the apartment.

Each time I saw him, he looked frailer than he had been the last time I saw him, and that, coupled with David and his mother’s increasingly somber and worried demeanor as the days went by, told me that he did not have much longer left.

David’s mother had taken us up on our offer for her to use the apartment to rest and rejuvenate during the day; so, once David arrived at the hospital, if his father was asleep, he would do a quick run to drop her off at the apartment, and she would call him to pick her up after a few hours.

Since I could hardly expect her to prepare her own breakfast or lunch after a long night at the hospital, I had to make sure both were ready and waiting for her by the time David came to pick me up, and as that was before eight, it meant I had to be up by five thirty at the very latest, just to get everything done.

It was definitely hard, and by the end of each day, I was exhausted, but seeing what a toll his father’s condition and hospitalization was taking on David, from how worried and drained he looked when he arrived at the apartment after a day at the hospital, I knew he needed my support.

I buckled down and gave it to him. It helped me feel like even though I was not doing shifts at the hospital like the rest of his family, I was still doing something to help, which was a very rewarding feeling.

Besides, while having David’s mother around meant a lot more work for me, it also meant that we got the opportunity to really get to know each other, and with each passing day, I felt our relationship grow and a genuine closeness develop.

DIANE

I could not remember the last time my marriage had been in such a bad place; David was hardly ever home as he left early in the mornings to take the children to school, and did not return until around ten on most nights, and even when he did get back, he would not say more than a gruff ‘hi’ to me, before my going into the shower, and then to bed.

The silence was deafening, and sometimes I thought even an argument would be better than this complete lack of communication with someone that I not only shared a home with, but a bed too.

That was, until the weekend rolled around, and without having said a word to me about it, David came downstairs to the dining room at around eight that Saturday morning, as the children were having breakfast, and announced that he was taking them to visit their grandfather at the hospital; that they had ten minutes to finish their breakfast.

Even after the fiasco at the hospital when I had tried to visit his father, it was not the thought of David taking the children to the hospital that irked me, but rather that he had come up with this plan without so much as mentioning it to me first; even though he was perfectly aware that the children had their different clubs and activities on Saturday morning, and that my program was pretty much scheduled around that.

“Will you be taking them to their clubs after that?” I asked coldly. “Is attending their clubs more important than seeing my dad?” he snapped back challengingly.

“Of course not, which is why I asked if you were taking them after that. I just wanted to know if you were going to take them to their clubs, so that if you weren’t, I would, and if you were, I would just arrange to pick them up, that’s all.”

“Aargh, stop wasting my time!” he barked irritably, then turned to the children.

“Kids, get in the car, and let’s go.”

His tone brokered no discussion, and sensing his dark mood, they jumped and did as they were told. As he followed them out, I realized I still did not know if he was taking them to their clubs.

margaretwamanga@yahoo.com

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