Sex Talk: Is the six-pack really ‘all that’?

A debate is raging on X after a user in the UK, I presume, posted a before and after picture of British pop star Olly Murrs and asked followers to indicate whether they were male or female, and then vote for which version of Olly they preferred.

The ‘before’ picture is an average sized Olly – not fat, not skinny, but definitely not buffed. The second picture is after a couple of weeks of intense working out, and Olly looks all chiseled, buffed, fit and smaller.

In the vote taken by 920 respondents, the women clearly preferred the ‘before’ Olly and only seven per cent voted for the chiseled version. On the other hand, 43 per cent of men voted for the ‘after’ version, which has sparked a debate on the Internet, with men saying the female respondents were clearly lying.

But why is that even a surprise? I believe there has been an over-dramatisation and romanticizing by young women on social media, of men with bulging biceps and washboard abs; but have you ever cared to check whom they actually choose to do life with eventually?

There is fantasy and the reality. Truth is, there is fun and security in a man who is not obsessed with his looks, the gym, fitness, healthy eating, etc, even when the woman herself is a gym freak or even an athlete.

Look at Serena Williams and her husband Alexis Ohanian! When I was at university, I went on an academic exchange program to Germany for a year with two male classmates. One was tall and really plus-size, the other tall and lean.

But man, my plus-size friend was a constant hit with women young and old, from all races! They made their moves on him on the bus, trains, in class, everywhere we went, and the story was not the same for my other classmate.

So, there is clearly something there; the organic feel of a hug when a ‘normal’ guy gives you one. Not having to feel like you are in competition with your man over who looks better. Not fearing that should he lose his temper, your man can easily kill you.

Not getting the judgmental looks from passersby when together, with eyes saying “he could have done better”.

Being able to eat what and when you want, without someone thumbing a calories chart over your shoulder all the time. And like one self-described fat male respondent said, his fit and athletic girlfriend loved it when they went running and she outran him.

Not to mention, women have been told that extra-buffed men lose penile size and mileage – I don’t think that is accurate, but still… Let’s agree on one thing; the average woman has a list of body-related insecurities, and it is never fun being with someone who fans those insecurities, whether intentionally or not.

When it comes to making love, it is more comfortable being with someone who will adore your curves and edges and treat you like a prized trophy he is lucky to have, as opposed to one you are worried is counting your stretchmarks and love handles with disdain – not that it is what fit men do, but these things are all in the head and enough to ruin the experience.

Otherwise, don’t you ever wonder what drives successful ‘beauty and the beast’ love stories? Or model-like women looking very happy and content with much shorter men?

Yep; it is okay for you to work out and be fit, healthy and buff, but hopefully you are not doing it to net a good girl. It is complicated…

caronakazibwe@gmail.com